


Cultural Studies 101

by Missy



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Acceptance, Alien Cultural Differences, Aliens, Friendly Aliens, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Jerry is a Friendly Alien, Trick or Treat: Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 20:03:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16204679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: Some things still surprise Ron Swanson, even now.





	Cultural Studies 101

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Othalla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Othalla/gifts).



Ron blinked in total surprise at the sight before him. It wasn’t that he was easy to shock, but when one was presented suddenly with stunning news and rather impressive tidings, one had to consider the source.

The source was Jerry. And he couldn’t deny the veracity of his claim, since he was glowing and was standing beside a rather large, stunningly well-crafted spaceship.

He needed to ask the man who did their metalworking. It was stunningly flawless. 

“Well. You appear to be right. Then you’re an alien ambassador?” he asked Jerry. It wasn’t as if he could deny the man’s claim now.

“Yep!” Jerry beamed. “For my whole life. My kids and wife are just normal humans, but I was born on Alpha Gengridge several hundred years ago!”

Ron held up both of his hands. “Very well. I must request that you not probe my brain, as my life is private and not one for alien consumption, no matter how imperative it is to the mission. I suggest you use Andy’s instead, for it seems to be the most empty, now…”

Jerry shook his head. “Oh no, I’m not here to hurt anyone!” he said quite quickly. “I love Earth! Everyone here is just wonderful! But I’ve been here for the past ten years, trying to figure out how to open up peace negotiations with you guys, but you’ve been kind of…well, hard to understand. I was wondering if you could give me advice – should I start calling everyone a super dickbag? It seems to be a term of endearment on this plant.”

Ron rarely felt like a fool. That was an emotion best left to silence. “Please accept my most sincere apologies for the…actions of my friends. But since you’ve never meant any harm…I will be glad to teach you the fine ways of living peacefully on this planet.” But not communication. The best way to communicate, as far as Ron was concerned, was an occasional grunt coming out of a long period of comfortable silence.

“Actions?” Jerry frowned, and then smiled. “Oh! I just thought that your customs of greeting were different on this planet! I’ll be glad to follow your helpful advice!”

Ron sighed. “Jerry, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

“Even though we’ve always been friends?” Jerry tilted his head, curious.

“Yes,” Ron said, setting aside his concerns. Well, friendships had started in odder ways before.


End file.
